Today the time seems to go by so fast, not just today but all days... it just seems that they all blend together whirring right by you. Keeping up a blog, keeping up with friends and family. It becomes kind of tedious. It seems as if you look the other way for just a minute, or if you take the shortest of breaks that not only do you miss out on so much,... but you also grow further apart from your loved ones.
Sometimes, even if you are able to keep up with those around you, it seems that they change so drastically that it is almost not the way things are suppose to happen. What do you do when you have so many people changing in so many opposite ways, tearing at you from both sides. They all need a different side of you, they all need to be treated a different way. And, you know? I am starting feel like I am so different from them that I sometimes cannot relate. But I love them all so much that I hate the thought of not being around them... even if at times I don't understand them and they may even drive me into utter confusion with their actions, feelings, and logic. Is this normal? Is this the way adult relationships work? Do we only deal with people until we feel that we can no longer be around them and then take a break until we feel refreshed and able to deal with the confusion again?
So often I find myself becoming more of a hermit, concealing myself further away from the hustle and bustle of the everyday drama of people and their needs and emotions. I don't really mind being alone. All I have to look out for is me, I don't have to rack my brain thinking of new ways to help someone else and then sometimes my advice, thoughts, or opinions are just thrown to the side, as if they had or have a better solution. Yet they still seem to be unhappy with things and they still talk about it all the time.
When I was younger even up until a few years ago, I used to be an incredibly stubborn girl. I always had to learn things my way, the hard way, the trail and error way. I got myself into trouble a countless number of times. I played with dangerous things I never even should have been introduced to in the first place. And why, all because I THOUGHT that I would be sooo wise if I was able to try every experience I could. Yes, experiences make you wiser, but is it really that wise to go looking for trouble or to ignore the solutions of other people who have gone the same thing, if not very similar situations. Is it wise to toss around your health and own well being because you want to do things by yourself, and on your own? Sometimes, that is what I feel like some of the people in my life are doing.
I really just wish things could be as simple as they once were. I have come to the realization that you cannot control other people and that you cannot take care of everyone no matter how much you love them. But it is tiring to remember and when someone asks for my help or my opinion I give it to them and I always will. I just think that maybe one day my voice will be heard and I might be able to help someone I might be able to save someone from making a big mistake, or I might help them reach a solution or have an epiphany.
All I really want is to better understand people and connect better with them.
I do not have a picture for this post.
